DON’T take her swimming on the first date.

I love makeup.
I really do.
But unfortunately, there are some stigmas surrounding makeup and the artists who love wearing it and creating with it.
As I started to experiment with makeup, I had people telling me from all sides that makeup was, ‘only used by insecure girls to cover up their insecurities,’ and that I needed to ‘love myself’ and ‘embrace my imperfections’ and ‘be natural’. I even got the whole, ‘guys like girls who don’t wear a lot of makeup better’, or ‘good boys like good girls who look natural’, as if that was supposed to persuade me otherwise.
I have even heard that women are ‘deceiving men’ when they wear makeup because they are putting on a ‘mask’. Heard the phrase, “Take her swimming on the first date”? Yeah. Here’s how I see that.

First of all, let’s address the thought process that makeup is only used by girls who are insecure to cover up their flaws. I couldn’t disagree with this more. I will say, that I do know some people who use makeup because of insecurities. But the way I see it, it’s a way for them to feel beautiful. It’s a way for them to feel confident and pretty until they can recognize their inherent inner AND outer beauty with and without makeup.

Everything in moderation, kids.

As for me, I took a break from makeup. I felt myself beginning to use it as a crutch, so, I stopped. I went a couple weeks without it. I learned to look in the mirror and be okay with the face that looked back, regardless of how long and dark my lashes were.

And I was perfectly fine. Today, I don’t rely on makeup to feel beautiful or to feel confident. I know that I am beautiful and lovely and pretty whether I have a full face or a bare face.

You do not get to define my security in myself. You do not get to say whether or not I am insecure, or anxious about my appearance. I will decide that for myself, thank you very much. I love myself. I am confident in myself with or without makeup. My face does not cater to your opinion. You don’t like my makeup? I’m sorry. But not really. That is your opinion, but it’s also my face. I don’t see how my eyeliner being green affects your life in any way. How do my lips being painstakingly painted blue change your day? Is it so revolutionary for a girl to want to express herself creatively?

Second of all, I do not wear makeup to please the opposite sex. I do not wear makeup to look more appealing for boys or for men. I couldn’t care less if a guy didn’t like my makeup. In my circle of friends, I know that not a single one of my guy friends care even the slightest that I saved up $43 for my MakeupForever Ultra HD Foundation.

Makeup for me is my art. It is one way I express myself, it is a creative outlet.

And…

I’d like to see you do a flawless cat eye with a sharp but blended contour and a perfectly crisp red lip.

Go ahead.

I’ll wait.

It takes time, it takes practice, it takes skill. Makeup is art. An artist does not paint for the pleasure of her audiences. She cannot and I hope will not simply change a painting she loved and worked on so hard just because of someone’s ignorant opinion.

Thirdly. I completely despise the phrase, “Take her swimming on the first date.”

I feel that I should not even NEED to explain this. I am saddened that I do. But COME ON. Could you be anymore IGNORANT. Could you be anymore SELF CENTERED. Do you EVER think about ANYONE but yourself? Are you so narcissistic that you think that the only reason a woman would apply makeup is in order to ensnare your affections, and fool you into believing she has flawless skin and eyelashes longer than Route 66, all to get you to be her ‘beau’ that she may be by your precious side all her life? Do you honestly think that all makeup-wearing-women are gathering together to confer and say, “Hey, I bet if we all paint our faces, we can trick these guys into thinking we look FLAWLESS, when in reality we look TERRIBLE, so our ONLY option is to TRICK all these guys!”

DO YOU REALLY THINK THAT MY EYELIDS ARE NATURALLY THE COLOR OF SPARKLING CHAMPAGNE.

DO YOU REALLY THINK THAT MY LIPS ARE NATURALLY BRIGHT PURPLE.

DO YOU REALLY THINK THAT THERE IS AN EXTREMELY DARK SHADOW THAT HAPPENS TO CONSTANTLY FALL PERFECTLY UNDER MY CHEEKBONES.

Seriously, how IGNORANT are you? Are you that surprised that after I wash my face that that mysteriously smooth black line above my lash line disappears?

The phrase, “Take her swimming on the first date” seriously needs to disappear into the dated oblivion where it belongs. Saying something like that also implies that, really, you are only going out with this girl because of her physical appearance. Why don’t you try to get to know HER a little better. Find out her interests, her dreams, her hopes, her fears. And start by caring a little bit less about the makeup that she’s wearing.

Unless of course she is, like, a makeup artist. Then do your best to care. Or at least pretend to care. C’mon. This requires some effort.

If you want to see some more on the topic of, “Take her swimming on the first date”, I highly recommend heading over to YouTube and watching Nikki Tutorial’s video on the subject. She is an amazingly talented makeup artist, I aspire to do what she does someday.

The other day, I saw the most adorable video. It was a little girl, probably six years old, give or take a year, who was doing a makeup tutorial. She. Was. Stinking. Cute.

Her makeup looked really good too, better than mine does half the time.

I looked down at the comments and saw one woman who commented something along these lines,

“What kind of parents would allow their daughter to play with makeup like this? She is far too young. She should be practicing her numbers instead of spending time playing with makeup.”

This. This right there. That’s just one of those phrases that makes me lose faith in humanity.

Since when did being smart and liking makeup become conflicting character traits?

Am I not allowed to play with makeup and then ‘practice my numbers’ as this woman stated?

I have a 3.9 GPA. I do the best I can with school. I balance school, multiple extra-curricular activities, church volunteering, home responsibilities, and a chronic illness.

But somehow I manage to wear a cat eye three out of seven days of the week.

huh.

So let’s stop equating loving makeup and being insecure. Let’s stop making being intelligent and artistic opposing qualities.

And for the love of all good things in the world…

Don’t take her swimming on the first date.

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